Updated: Oct 13, 2020
For the last several months, I have been working on putting a blog and an interview series together. It always seems like something comes up and I keep postponing it. Things like having a baby, moving across the country, and moving into a new home. Now, a dang pandemic! It feels like the whole world has changed. It seems with so much darkness and death around, time seems not to be a given but a tremendous gift. Carpe Diem, mother f@#$%! I want to be part of the world and share my voice. I want to be a beacon of light in the middle of all this darkness. I want to be present. I want to help the world. So here I am world! I am here. My voice is here. I am here for you too. I am hoping to help and support anyone who needs it, in any way that I can.
First, let me share some of my truths. I am a complex trauma survivor. This means I have experienced several traumatic events spanning from my childhood to early adulthood. As a result, I have PTSD. These are my truths and are part of me. When I was young, I hated my curly hair. I wanted to have the long, flowing, straight hair of Whinny from the Wonder Years. I would spend hours in front of a mirror trying to smooth out my hair using water. This resulted in a wonderous, upside-down cowlick. The top of my head was flat and then the bottom was surrounded with perfect curls. Just like my hair, I spent years trying to suppress my trauma and ignore the facts of what had happened to me. However, I finally had to deal with my past and I am better for it. I have curly hair and I have survived traumas. I am better for it.
How to be Positive During Hard Times
I say this not for pity nor for dramatic effect but to be authentic. Trauma is everywhere and, unfortunately, the world is experiencing a group trauma. No one really knows what will happen, yet we stand on a precipice. As we look off to the horizon, the land behind us has mountains and valleys. We have survived those ups and downs. Presently, we are at the edge of a cliff. It is overwhelming yet exhilarating. We can jump from the ledge in free fall and see where we end up. Or we can use the skills and knowledge our collective past has given us. We can use that knowledge to create a parachute to soften the fall. We can create a new path for ourselves and for humanity. We can do this!
Saying all this, I am not trying to diminish anyone’s feelings of anxiety, fear, depression, uncertainty or any other feeling. From my experience, most of these emotions come from facing an unexpected change. Change is scary. No one knows where it will lead. People fear the unknown. The precipice itself is not scary. It is meeting that edge of the unknown and knowing the next step will lead to the unpredictable. That is where the terror lives. It is the step into the unknown.
Motherhood and Adversity
As I said, I recently had a baby. On my path to motherhood, I learned that babies only have two innate fears: a fear of falling and a fear of loud noises. When we were swinging through the trees, a fall for a baby would mean certain death. Therefore, a baby grips their mother tightly. Predators in the wild create huge noises and as a result, infants fear loud noises. A loud noise meant that a large predator was near, and the baby was in danger. Babies have the right idea. Falling and predators (aka loud noises) are worth fearing. These fears lead to imminent danger and death. Everything else can be survived. Why fear anything else?
Yes, we are on the edge of change. The USA is under quarantine and so is a great deal of the world. The world has already stepped over the edge. The change has already happened. And if you are reading this, you and I are still here.
Think Positive in Difficult Times
I keep looking outside and around my yard for signs of spring. Spring symbolizes a time of growth, renewal, and change. And just this weekend, I found a daffodil in my yard. Surrounded by brown, shattered leaves was a bright, cheerful flower jumping into the sun’s life-giving beams. In China, Daffodils mean good luck, prosperity, and good fortune. As for wedding anniversaries, daffodils are used for the 10th anniversary. Daffodils grow in clumps of flowers. Individually, the flower is small. When in a group, daffodils create a circular cluster emulating the sun. Each flower is a little golden droplet of light and hope. Because of this, daffodils symbolize the coming together of all the couple’s memories and experiences to create one extraordinary life. This little daffodil is hope. It is growing without even being noticed. It did not need water or attention. It grew and sprung from a lifeless place. Corona is our Winter and the Spring is coming.
The planet is resilient. We often forget that human beings are resilient too. There is nothing that we can do to change the fact that Corona is here and there are consequences of this new normal. Yet the new normal might be a great change that many of us were looking for. I have met so many people who have dreamed of working from home. They want their family to be the focus of their lives, not their work. Meaning that working from home allows for a better work/life balance. Now, working from home is the norm and going into work is the rarity. Spending more time with our families is such a gift. Even for myself, spending more uninterrupted time with my husband and son has been a true gift. We are growing as a family, growing together. We have also moved into a new house that is a fixer upper. Having time to work on it and build a new life without being pulled into so many different directions is also a gift. I am re-framing this narrative and building a new life worth living. I hope the same for you.
I cannot make anyone change or change Corona, but I can give a positive message to the world. This blog is my message in a bottle. Thank you for taking the time to pull open the cork and to read.
Stay healthy and stay safe.
P.S. If you want to learn more about me and Bobbianne’s Flowers, please go to my website www.bobbiannesflowers.com. Even better make a purchase so I can help more people on their path to healing.